An open letter regarding popcorn chicken

Dear Molly,

Last week, you ordered popcorn chicken. I also ordered popcorn chicken. I wrongly thought you were a popcorn chicken poacher when you went to collect the chicken. I took what was probably your chicken and dashed off to work and I’m really sorry. A bit of an explanation:

  1. I literally have never ever run into someone else named Molly before, let alone one who ordered the same meal at the same time.
  2. I hadn’t eaten all day and my thoughts were clouded by hunger for chicken.
  3. I was also on an extremely tight schedule and only just barely had enough time to order a delicious serving of popcorn chicken and was subsequently in a rush to get to work.
  4. I had been waiting over 15 minutes and wrongly assumed this was enough time for Dine 49 to make an order of popcorn chicken.

Having wrongly labeled you as a chicken thief, I was corrected after the fact by a friend who observed the entire incident, including you rightfully purchasing your order. I offer these not as excuses – I obviously should have tried harder to figure out what was going on first – but as an explanation. You were probably thinking something like “wtf why did this bitch just take my chicken and dash into the night?”

I messed up, and I hope you accept my sincere apology for this incident, one Molly to another. I also hope you didn’t have to wait too long for the second order of popcorn chicken.



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