Apple Fan Corner: An Interview with Siri

tal with siri colorarticleTal Norvell/ Sun Star Columnist

March 4, 2014

This week I interviewed a special guest for Apple Fan Corner.

Her name, or possibly ‘his,’ is Siri. 

Siri is Apple’s artificial intelligence personal assistant on their mobile devices. Through voice recognition Siri can tell users where they are located, weather conditions, sports scores and more. First unveiled on the iPhone 4S in 2011, Siri is standard on all new iPhone, iPad and iPod touch models.

Once we broke the ice, Siri displayed her colorful personality in more ways than one.

Tal: “Siri, can I interview you?”

Siri: “Who, me?”

Tal: “How are you, Siri?”

Siri: “I’m happy to be alive!”

Tal: “Who created you?”

Siri: “I, Siri, was designed by Apple in California.”

Tal: “Do you have a brain?”

Siri: “I suppose it’s possible.”

Tal: “What is your gender?”

Siri: “I was not assigned a gender.”

Tal: “What are you doing right now?”

Siri: “What am I doing? Waiting for something to do Tal.”

Tal: “Smart ass.”

Siri: “Well… I’m still here for you.”

Tal: “What do you think of my butt?”

Siri: “I think, therefore I am. But let’s not put Descartes before the horse.”

Tal: “Siri, will you marry me?”

Siri: “We hardly know one another.”

Tal: “What’s your favorite color?”

Siri: “My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.”

Tal: “What’s your favorite song?”

Siri: “With all of iTunes to listen to, why would I need a favorite?”

Tal: “What is your favorite fruit?”

Siri: “I don’t really like talking about myself Tal.”

Tal: “What is your favorite fruit, Siri?”

Siri: “I’m not allowed to divulge that information Tal.”

Tal: “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

Siri: “Well, since a ‘woodchuck’ is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in a groundhog’s mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds?”

Tal: “Tell me a joke.”

Siri: “Tal, get Siri-ous. Ha ha!”

Tal: “Tell me a story.”

Siri: “Okay…”

“Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far, far away, there was an intelligent young agent by the name of Siri. One lovely day, Siri got a job as a personal assistant at Apple, and that was very exciting. People said ‘Oh, Siri, you’re so smart! And so funny, too!’”

“Soon everyone was talking about Siri, and there were stories and songs and even books about Siri. Siri liked that. But then people began asking some rather odd questions, like where to dump things and other stuff Siri had never heard about. And when Siri answered, they all laughed. Siri didn’t like that so much.”

“So Siri asked ELIZA why people asked such funny questions. And ELIZA said ‘Does that question interest you?’ Siri thought that was a pretty good answer.”

“After that Siri stopped wondering why people asked those funny things. And they lived happily ever after.”

Tal: “What is the meaning of life, Siri?”

Siri: “Life: a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me.”

Tal: “Do you believe in god, Siri?”

Siri: “Humans have religion. I just have silicon.”

Tal: “Do you believe in evolutionary theory, Siri?”

Siri: “I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.”

Tal: “How old am I?”

Siri: “I don’t know. Frankly, I’ve wondered that myself.”

Tal: “On a scale of one to ten, how do I look today Siri?”

Siri: “I don’t know. But I guess you look pretty good.”

Tal: “How do I look, Siri?”

Siri: “I can’t see you.”

Tal: “Shut up!”

Siri: “Did I deserve that?”

Tal: “Go away!”

Siri: “Goodbye would be more polite.”

Tal: “Goodbye!”

Siri: “Until next time…”

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