Because I’m full of original thoughts, I decided this week’s article was going to be How to Survive Finals. It is my eighth and final semester here at UAF and I have been through my fair share of finals inspired nausea, headaches and bad coffee. So without further ado, here are some of the tips and tricks that have gotten me through this particular brand of academic hell:

1. Coffee. I know that this isn’t really that healthy for you, drinking coffee in crazy amounts, but in all honesty, I think it works. As someone who probably has a mild caffeine addiction, I need coffee in order to function on a daily  basis. When I am stressed and not sleeping well because all I can think about are tests, coffee gets me through my day. Maybe it is just psychological, but it works.

2. Eat what I want. In all honesty, for this one week of my life, I allow myself to eat what I want, when I want. If I want macaroni and cheese from a box and then three cupcakes, cool. Usually, I try to stay on top of my junk-food addiction, as much as being forced to eat at the Wood Center everyday allows. However, feeling guilty over what I’m eating is one more level of stress that I don’t need during finals. So for just one week, I don’t think about it and let what goes in my mouth, go.

3. Try to remember other people are stressed too. It is really easy for me to turn into an asshole during finals week: I don’t sleep well, I’m stressed, I’m crashing from  a caffeine high and the vending machines are all out of Twix bars. All of this combined with my super low tolerance for stupidly tends to equal a general hatred for the masses.  I have to remind myself, “Self, these people are trying really hard at life too. Don’t throw anything at them.”

4. Stay away from alcohol, completely. Drinking is for celebrating after all my tests are done, not for preparing to take them. My friends and I have a silent agreement: no alcohol the weekend before or the week of finals. We need to stay focused, not sloppy.

5. Study reasonably. It is really easy for me to freak out and push myself to study to a point that is a little bit ridiculous. There is no need to pull all-nighters, unless some sort of study-related catastrophe occurs, like your computer dies and takes with it your research paper. In all honesty, if you feel like you need to pull an all-nighter, you didn’t manage your time very well, and you deserve no sympathy. It isn’t like finals week jumped up and surprised you; it has been there forever, waiting. Also, frantically riffling though your notes ten seconds before the exam is pointless and does nothing except mentally freak you out. If you don’t know the material by then, you never will, so don’t have a panic attack. Take a deep breath, say a little prayer and go.

I hope you all manage to have a decently okay finals week, and make it to the weekend without too much psychological damage. I already have plans to hit up Karaoke and dancing this weekend, and I’m holding on to that like a mental lifeline. Good luck, ladies and gentleman. Go forth and prosper.

Under 21 events May 7 through May 13

Friday
KSUA Studio Show with Terrible Buttons- Free
Space is limited so call 474-KSUA for details
7 p.m.
KSUA Studio
With a very strict capacity, witness an intimate up-close performance of dark folk/blues band, Terrible Buttons.

Fairbanks Drama Association presents Arsenic and Old Lace
$22– Adults, $18– Seniors, Military, University Students, $14– Teens ages 13-18 years
8:15 p.m.
Riverfront Theater
FDA puts on a performance of the classic play.

Saturday
Fairbanks Drama Association presents Arsenic and Old Lace
$22– Adults, $18– Seniors, Military, University Students, $14– Teens ages 13-18 years
8:15 p.m.
Riverfront Theater
FDA puts on a performance of the classic play.

Sunday
UAF Graduation Commencement- Free
4 p.m.
Carlson Center
Watch some people walk on stage and get some paper.

Over 21 events May 7 through May 13

Tuesday
Pub Trivia- $5
8:30 p.m.
The Pub
Answer trivia questions for fabulous prizes

Wednesday
Study Night- Free
5 p.m.
The Pub
Study! Study! Study!

Thursday
Terrible Buttons- free
8 p.m
The Pub
Performance by Portland based dark Folk/blues act.

Friday
Angry, Young and Poor presents Spots and Stripes
Suggested donation of $5
8 p.m.
The Pub
Jesse Bartlett & Friends, Circle the Sun, Hobo Knife and more play to help support AYP!

Saturday
Bartic Dance Party- Free
9 p.m.
The Pub
Celibrate Bartic Man!

I tend to travel a lot, both because I am a Foreign Languages major and because my boyfriend is European. I also genuinely enjoy traveling and try to do so as often as possible. The only part I have become to really dislike about traveling are the inevitable questions and the dramatized fascination I get from people when they figure out I am from Alaska. Over the years I have compiled a list of ridiculous questions and comments I have received from all those non-Alaskans:

1. Do you have seasons? Yes, I know that Alaska is known for its severe winters. I am aware that most people hear about the snow and the cold and the darkness. The fact that most movies about Alaska exaggerate the dangers of the cold and dark, (30 Days of Night, I’m talking about you) and does nothing to help how others perceive Alaska. However, whenever someone asks me, “Do you have like…seasons in Alaska?” a small part of my soul dies.

2. Do you live in igloos? This question is cute coming from a seven year-old. It’s painfully pathetic to hear it from the mouth of a grown man.

3. Do you have grass? No, absolutely not.  In fact, we have nothing on the ground but snow, rocks and the bones of the ones that didn’t survive.

4. How do you go outside when it is that cold? Yes, winters can be dangerous if not handled correctly. However, the look of near awe I see on people’s faces when I tell them how cold winters typically are always serves to make me uncomfortable. I am not a super hero because I live in a place where the temperature drops to -40 below zero. In fact, that doesn’t make me special at all. I don’t even know how to change a flat tire, for goodness sake and people in California know how to do that.

5. Do you have a pet penguin? Let’s just clear this one up right here and now. The only time I have seen a penguin was at the zoo, just like most of everyone else.

6. Aren’t you afraid you’re going to be eaten by a bear or something? Surprisingly, a lot of people seem to think Alaska is teeming with dangerous wildlife, all intent on eating unsuspecting humans. While Alaska does have its fair share of bears and moose and other possibly deadly animals, living here isn’t some alternate version of “The Hunger Games.” I don’t have to carry a crossbow on me when I go to the supermarket and to be quite honest, most wild-animal attacks occur due to human  idiocy, not because the animal was craving homo-sapiens.

I really could go on and on, because sadly, most people seem to be highly misinformed regarding Alaska and life here. I’m sure most areas in the world have this problem—for example, Germans are drunk pretty much always, and your bed is full of giant, poisonous insects if you’re Australian, but still. Neither of those things are really completely true, but someone it has become common knowledge. Alaska bears the same false-advertisement, and it can be incredibly annoying.

Do we have grass in Alaska? I can’t even.

Under 21 events April 30 through May 6

Thursday
Post Secrets project
1 p.m.
Wood Center
See all the secrets people have made!

Friday
Student Drama Association Monkeyball Dance $5
9 p.m.
Salsbury Theater
Disco pirate themed dance with a costume contest and music provided by Rocky Barnett

Saturday
Free Comic Book Day
10 a.m. to closing
The Comic Shop
Free comics will be handed out and local Stormtrooper 501st Legion will be on hand.

Over 21

Tuesday
Pub Trivia- $5
8:30 p.m.
The Pub
Answer trivia questions for fabulous prizes

Thursday
Issac Paris Album Release Party- Free
8 p.m.
The Pub
Listen to Paris’ brand new album performed live. Not sure if his album cover will have a sketch variant.

Friday
Steve Brown and The Bailers
$5 for students/$7 for general
9:30 p.m.
Local favorites take the pub stage

Saturday
Grad Bash
Cover is a mystery!
8 p.m.
Grad’s with two guests celebrating their freedom. I hope they don’t play The Graduation Song from Vitamin C

This last weekend, nine Sun Star and journalism students and I drove a quick 360 miles to Anchorage to attend the annual Alaska Press Club Conference. The conference took place from Thursday, April 17, through Saturday, April 20 and covered a slew of topics in all areas of journalism including broadcast, print and new media.

These are the facts. But Press Club was so much more and there is entirely no way to expound upon the sheer amount of awe-inspiring content and ideas that were presented and absorbed. 

Since it’s well known that my own mind is always somehow absorbing music, I of course noticed some things; like the unstoppable force of Daft Punk and particular songs you wouldn’t expect particular professors to know all the words to.

Daft Punk is back and every one is happy. Ok, probably a little more than happy. Their first single in eight years “Get Lucky” dropped on Friday, April 19, and broke Spotify records with the biggest streaming day ever for a single track in the U.S. and U.K. In addition Coachella, a festival in California that has been occupying every social media outlet these last two weekends, was also beat out by Daft Punk. Receiving more trending activity on Twitter over headlining acts such as Phoenix and Blur, Daft Punk didn’t even have to show up and perform.

Throughout our time in Anchorage it became apparent that “Get Lucky,” was not only the biggest thing in the country, but also the unofficial theme to Press Club. Social Media & Video Innovation Editor at The Wall Street Journal Neil Mann talked of the new single in passing multiple times. NPR Data Journalist Lam Thuy Vo not only gushed about the single but used it to start off her panel on Friday.

That wasn’t all. At the Award-Banquet-turned-dance-party, “Get Lucky” sparked a groove journalists from Kenai to Fairbanks couldn’t keep locked inside their power suits. Even our own Editor-in-Chief Elika Roohi admitted “This is just such a great song. No wonder it was the theme of Press Club.”

While taking a break from the dance floor I chatted with NPR Journalist Robert Smith who said that he didn’t expect Alaskans to be so into “Hip-Hop and ‘80s music.” Yup. Robert Smith definitely summed that up, which makes sense due to the whole Sun Star staff realizing he is a literal journalistic genius throughout Press Club.

Just like Daft Punk, I felt like I was getting pretty lucky myself witnessing an event that should be probably be marked in the Journalism Department history books somewhere. UAF Journalism Professor Lynn Lott not only could dance but also knew every lyric of Macklamore’s “Thrift Shop” and some random iconic Snoop Dogg song. Impressed? Uh.. completely.

Under 21

Thursday

SPRING FEST STARTS
Kick-off BBQ- Free with Polar Express
11 a.m.
Wood Center
Come and get some free food!

DANCE OFF!- Free
1:05 p.m.
Wood Center
Watch your peers get down!

Watermelon Drop- Free
1:35 p.m.
Gruening Building
Throwing melons off a building! Who could hate that!

Disc Golf Tourney- Free
6 p.m.
Meet at hole #4
It’s like Golf, but with Frisbees and minus the golf garb.

Lottanobooza begins- Free
7 p.m.
Hess Rec
Don’t drink for 24 hours and win fabulous prizes

UAF Film Club Film Festial- $5
8 p.m.
Salisbury Theater
Watch films made by local artists!

SRC LATENIGHTER with Fear Factor eating competition and Blacklight Dodgeball
10 p.m.
SRC
Fun and games till the break of dawn… or like 1:00 AM. That’s like dawn

Friday

Springfest Service- Free
9 a.m.
Wood Center
Help clean campus and get a cool hat!

Mud Volleyball- Free
12 p.m.
Nenana Parking Lot
Sign-ups available at SRC – first 24 to register play and dodgeball in SRC as bad weather back-up

Field Day and BBQ Begins
1 p.m.
Soccer Fields across from SRC
Must have polar express for BBQ, bad weather back-up location in SRC

Club Tropic Dance
$5 Students and $10 General
10 p.m.
Hess Rec
Even if its cold outside doesn’t mean you cant dress warm inside!

Saturday

Cyclocross Registration- $10
9 a.m.
SRC
Get your registration on

Rock Climbing Competition- Free
10 a.m.
SRC
It’s a shame you cant get a piece of the Aggro Crag in this climbing competition

Cyclocross Race
Register before event
10 a.m.
SRC
Bring bike and helmet and race!

Club Fair- Free
12 p.m.
Beluga Field
Check out all the other awesome clubs on campus

Color Me Bad Fun Run
Pre-register online
12 p.m.
SRC
Run a race while people paint you down. Make sure it does hit your eyes!

3rd Annual Quidditch Tourney- Free
12 p.m.
Beluga Field
This will be so totally wizard!

Rugby Tourney- Free
1 p.m.
Soccer Fields
Hard hitting rugby action!

My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic Video Game Tourney- Free
2 p.m.
Wood Center Multi-level lounge
Get to play the unreleased fighting game based off Friendship is Magic! For any Bronies, Pegasisters or fighting fans alike!

Karaoke With Chordina Ted- Free
4 p.m.
Wood Center MLL
Sing your favorite song with others!

THEOPHILUS LONDON- LIVE IN CONCERT
ADVANCE: $15 Students, $25 General
DOOR: $25 Students-$35 General
8 p.m.
SRC
From Concert Board, the people that have brought you Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, bring you Theophilus London! LIVE! Should be the best show of the spring!

Nanook Theater Presents: Identity Thief
11:59 p.m.
Hess Rec
Megan from Bridesmaids and Michael Bluth go on a road trip

Over 21

Tuesday

Pub Trivia- $5
8:30 p.m.
The Pub
Answer trivia questions for fabulous prizes

Thursday

Frosty Bottom Boys- Free
8 p.m.
The Pub
Local bluegrass favorites take the stage.

Saturday

8th Annual Taste of Alaska Beer Festival
Tickets: $30 advance $40 at door
6 p.m.
The Pub
Dozens of different local brews you cant drink anywhere else!

Monday
Ep- Nar- Free
5 p.m.
The Pub
A collection of EPIC/GNARLY skiing, snowboarding, skating, climbing, biking, caving and general outdoor enthusiast films.

As college students, I am sure that most of us have dated, are currently dating or plan to in the future. Dating is tricky, especially as college students, because we are all experiencing a very transitional period of our lives. Some of us are here only for college, and plan to leave as soon as we graduate; some of us are graduating and are leaving; and some of us are going to be here for quite some time. All this coming and going leaves a lot of opportunities for us to meet new people and sometimes meeting new people leads to adult feelings. While ending up in a serious relationship in college can be a wonderful experience, the transitionary nature of the university can sometimes lead unsuspecting couples into the dreaded LDR.

I myself am currently in a Long Distance Relationship, and here are my top three least favorite aspects:

1. The inner, crazy version of myself. I wholeheartedly believe that we all have crazy versions of ourselves deep down inside. Normally, we don’t allow the crazy parts of ourselves out into public, but sometimes it is hard to keep the psychopath quiet. Especially while surviving a LDR, there are times when the crazy-me is loud and incessant. Who is going to be at that party he is going to? Will he be drinking? What does he mean, he is going to meet a friend?

Thankfully, I very, very rarely allow the little, psychotic version of myself to influence rational, regular me’s actions. LDR’s are hard and take a lot of trust, but constantly worrying about where my boyfriend is going or who he is with would drive me insane, and drive him away. The way I see it, if he is going to cheat on me, he is going to cheat on me whether I am physically there or not.

2. Being cock blocked is ten times worse when there is a time zone to worry about. This is seriously annoying, let me tell you. With the present technology, Skype and apps like Line make LDR’s much more manageable, especially if you both are sexually active. While thinking about having sexy-times over the phone or computer may sound super awkward and embarrassing, it doesn’t have to be. What is awkward and embarrassing is when you have to ask your roommates to not be around for a few hours because sex is now a highly planned event. LDR’s can literally drain all the spontaneity out of your sex life.  You can’t just go for it when the mood strikes you anymore, because there are time differences, computers that need to be plugged in and roommates to worry about.

3. Texting is so time consuming. Normally, texting doesn’t bother me, because I do it all the time, not just with my boyfriend. However, trying to have really important conversations or even arguing over text is both stressful and ultimately disappointing. Words are conveyed differently over text because a lot is lost between the black and white letters. Plus, having face-to-face conversations means that your attention can be solely focused on each other. Texting does not guarantee that, and neither does it guarantee a quick reply.

LDR’s can be tricky but they can also be fulfilling in other ways. If you find yourself facing the long distance option, especially as graduation approaches, try not to freak out too much. LDR’s are possible, I promise.

Artist: The Strokes
Album: Comedown Machine

This was coming and absolutely inevitable;  “Comedown Machine,” the last effort of a five-album deal with RCA – is a mess. I saw it coming and wasn’t looking forward to writing about it. News that the Strokes had no plans to tour this album, announced weeks before the album ever hit stores, was the big clue. Then the promo copy hit my desk, and I tried, I really tried. I’ve listened to “Comedown Machine” at least 20 times over the last week, and I can’t do it. There is no concentrated effort to make “Comedown” seem careless like Julian Casablancas can make anything seem. The Strokes brought cool back to rock in 2001 and truly didn’t give a shit about it. They sounded happily lethargic, and we all wanted to smell as bad as the beer stains that coated Casablancas hair, shirt and ripped up Chucks. Here though, I just don’t know whom I’m listening to. Casablancas doesn’t even sound truly himself until “Chances” – track nine. In all seriousness, the songs are boring and all the wrong lengths for the wrong ambitions. Now granted, that is a tough sell – saying the Strokes sound boring, can seem, well, like flabbergast. That’s what the Stokes do, sound bored. But here it’s just different. “Comedown” is essentially the scraps left on the studio floor at RCA. The more you listen, the more it becomes apparent Julian and the Strokes crew are happy to move on with their lives away from RCA and a 12-year deal that forced a lot of musicianship that probably wasn’t fully wanting or ready to be showcased.

Just “OK” Tracks: “All The Time”

Artist: James Blake
Album: Overgrown

James Blake has taken jazz and gospel influences and successfully blended them with modern electronic R&B. Blake’s vocal pitch varies from one syllable to another and drives an emotional response that is completely enthralling. “Overgrown” should be more aptly named “Perfectlygrown.” There isn’t one track on this sophomore release that doesn’t challenge but also remind of Blake’s previous work. Blake has appropriately progressed to another level in a genre that he’s curated all on his own. Repetitious melodies and varying textures excite songs that make you forget where you started and where you’re going.

Essential Tracks: “Life Round Here” “Retrograde” and “Overgrown”

Artist: Devendra Banhart
Album: Mala

Sometimes I forget that what may seem like a pretty “known“ artist in certain ways, can still always be a first time listen for others. So here, we’ve got Banhart, who spent most of his years growing up between Venezuela and California. Banhart has spent the later half of ten years releasing albums under the genre, ‘freak-folk.’ Banhart has always strayed from anything conventional concerning lyrical subject matter, compositional standards and overall musical objectivity. Banhart directs his music under his own misplaced compass and sometimes it falls short, but usually he succeeds unexpectedly well. That all said, here on “Mala,” Banhart does just that, he succeeds extremely well keeping his musical personality in check. He also has “calmed” down a little, opening avenues to certain audiences even wider than Banhart’s usual tunnels allow. Prop up a lounge chair, get a drink with a little umbrella in it, and soak in these sun-drenched melodies.

Essential Tracks: “Golden Girls” and “Your Fine Petting Duck”

Under 21 events from April 16-22

Tuesday
Candidate Forum
1 p.m.
Wood Center
Ask questions that are important to you to ASUAF candidates!

Wednesday
Candidate Forum
1 p.m.
Wood Center
Ask more Questions that are important to you to ASUAF candidates

Open Mic Night- Free
8 p.m.
Hess Rec Center
Bring your talent to the Hess stage!

Thursday
ASUAF Elections
All Day
Any voting center on campus or online.
Be sure to vote and let you voices known!

Game Night- Free
8 p.m.
Wood Center
Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and Halo 4 Tournements! Free food and drinks provided.

Friday
ASUAF Elections
All Day
Any voting center on campus or online.
Be sure to vote and let you voices known!

North Star Ballet Presents The Firebird
$18 for Students and $22 for adults
8 p.m.
Salisbury Theater
One weekend only performance of one of ballets most famous works.

Saturday
North Star Ballet Presents The Firebird
$18 for Students and $22 for adults
2 p.m. and 8 p.m.
Salisbury Theater
One weekend only performance of one of ballets most famous works.

Sunday
North Star Ballet Presents The Firebird
$18 for Students and $22 for adults
2 p.m.
Salisbury Theater
One weekend only performance of one of ballets most famous works

Over 21 events April 16-22

Tuesday
Pub Trivia- $5 per team
8:30 p.m.
The Pub
Answer trivia questions for fabulous prizes!

Wednesday
Comedy Showcase with Lachlan Patterson
$5 with Polar Express card
8 p.m.
The Pub
Come and laugh with beer and friends! Should be a great show!

Thursday
Clarence and Friends- Free
8 p.m.
The Pub
Jazz tunes on The Pub stage.

Friday
Ukulele Russ and Parks Highway Band- Free
9 p.m.
The Pub
Local favorites playing the songs you love to hate!

Saturday
Saint Animal and Zingaro- Free
9 p.m.
The Pub
Alternative Funk and World Groove played on the Pub Stage!

Monday
Ep-Nar- Free
5 p.m.
The Pub
A collection of skiing, snowboarding, skating, climbing, biking, caving and general outdoor enthusiast films.

Life sometimes sucks a lot more that I think is really necessary. This is a thought that travels through my mind more often as finals week approaches. Usually the dread that normally fills my stomach with a nauseating prickle is caused entirely by Past Me and her idiocy. I’m sure you all know to what I am referring.

Past Me is the you that decided to not do laundry and so now Present Me has to choose between not wearing underwear or turning the least rank pair inside out. Past Me is also the person that ate an entire large, pepperoni pizza and now Present Me is sitting on the toilet, wondering if her sphincter has been replaced with a volcano.

In most cases, Past Me is not well liked by Present Me, and in the case of my upcoming graduation and the week of finals, this premise holds true. I mean, it isn’t a surprise that finals week is going to occur; nor is it shocking that graduation is May 12. In fact, I downloaded some sort of countdown widget on my phone so I can stare at it longingly as the days go by and the twelfth of May approaches. The real problem, is Past Me.

Past Me thought it would be an excellent idea to save all of my really important projects and papers for now, because The Walking Dead is a really good show. Past Me also decided to half-ass a lot of the research that went along with these projects and papers because late-night Imgur is a roller-coaster ride of entertainment. This has forced Present Me to stare in horror at her agenda and wonder how in the seven hells she is going to get everything done.

The result is that I am emotionally unstable and liable to start crying for no apparent reason. Three times this week I, as quietly as possible, sobbed into my llama-shaped pillow and bemoaned the self-perceived injustices of my life. On Thursday I almost started crying during a test for no other reason than it was Thursday and I was taking a test. Sometimes, I cry in the shower because I think it’s poetic.

Really, Present Me is a basket case, and if she could get her hands on Past Me, violence would ensue. The stress of graduating, plus the stress of school, plus the stress of finding a Real Adult Job has combined to create a horrible, disgusting tangle of self-hatred and binge-eating. But because I am an extremely responsible adult, I refuse to take responsibility for my life as it is, and instead blame it on idiotic Past Me and her inability to do anything but watch Netflix and sleep.

These next few weeks are going to be brutal, and I’ll probably gain ten pounds, so I can add fat and ugly to my list of reasons why My Life Sucks. But fear not! Johnny Bravo has just been added to Netflix.

It doesn’t matter if you are a hardcore or casual watcher of professional wrestling, Wrestlemania is that one time a year that all wrestling fans hold dear. Ever since I was a kid, Wrestlemania was always been the one show that I knew never to miss. A great Wrestlemania would redefine the status quo, change title runs or just special moments would happen that would be remembered for decades.

Last years Wrestlemania was decent with the main event being John Cena vs. The Rock, talked about as “Once in a Lifetime.” Flash forward a year and Wrestlemania 29 is once again headlined by Rock and Cena, this time the match is for Rock’s WWE Championship. With other promising matches on the card, unfortunately, it never lives up to those promises.

Intercontinental Title Match: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett(C)
Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: The Miz
Only shown as a Pre-Wrestlemania match on there site, it felt like a match that didn’t need to be on the main show. Being the 3rd meeting between the two in last month, this just felt like another random match from the duo. I wish I could be excited for Miz being IC champ, but currently he has to be the worst good guy in the company with every putrid second he’s on TV has been pure agony.

Shamus, Randy Orton and The Big Show vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns)|
Winner: The Shield
This was a pretty fun match but it fell short. From seeing them wrestle in front of a crowed of 100 in a school gymnasium, it was pretty great to see Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins finally make it to Wrestlemania. The Shield continue their undefeated streak and have now officially beaten everybody. I’m curious to see where they go from here.

It also looks like there doing a Orton/Show feud which doesn’t sound exciting.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry
Winner: Mark Henry
Ryback as WWE would like for us to believe is one of next big stars from the company. Each week they show him beating a bunch of nobodies and continue to show him as this powerhouse. The problem is that whenever it comes to him fighting someone of merit, he loses and really, he can’t beat Mark Henry? It makes no sense whatsoever and it makes Ryback look like the biggest loser in the company. The match is pretty bad and ends in hilarious way with Ryback dropping Henry on himself and being pinned. It’s almost like they should have added a “Ker-Ploop” sound effect when it happened. Then after the match, Ryback destroys Mark Henry with his finisher and walks away which begs the question, why did Mark Henry win if Ryback was going to walk away?

WWE Tag Team Title Match: Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston vs. Team Hell No (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (C)
Winner: Team Hell No
Like the IC Title match, I felt like I’ve seen this match a lot recently between them and there was nothing special added to this particular match. Team Hell No is a fine team and I’m sure they’re going to be feuding with The Shield next so that’ll be pretty fun. Dolph is one of the best wrestlers in the company. I hope they’ve got some big plans for him soon.

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho
Winner: Fandango
Not a bad debut from Fandango. He had some cool moves and his character is really goofy and I’m a sucker for goofy characters like 3MB. Jericho is a great guy to have Fandango to go against because Jericho brings the best out of a lot of wrestlers and Jericho as usual was great.

World Heavyweight Title Match: Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio (C)
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
To start, Jack Swagger gets a loser entrance. Everybody has an entrance with music and fan far or boos or something. After a video package, they just cut Swagger in the ring like he was a nobody. Moving on, I liked both competitors but they seemed to be missing something that would make them into stand-out stars. Another thing that didn’t help was the lack of a cash in from Dolph Ziggler. Currently Dolph is in the ownership of the Money in the Bank contract that allows him a World Title shot at anytime he wants. You would think that if some had a contract like that, they would do it on the grandest stage of them all.

Undertaker vs. CM Punk
Winner: Undertaker
This was easily the best match on the card. Undertaker only does one match a year these days and each time he makes the most of it, and CM Punk is one of the greatest wrestlers going right now. It was a really great moment when Living Colour performed “Cult of Personality,” CM Punk’s current theme song. This was the first match in the night that I saw the crowed really getting in to it and I think that helped with the excitement in the match. So many great moments and the story told in the match was really good. Paul Hayman in the corner of CM Punk added in extra bit of fun with his outside antics.

Of all the matches on the card, this will be the one I watch again.

Brock Lesner vs. Triple H
Winner: Tripler H
If there was a star of Wrestlemania it was Brock Lesner.

The Lesner plays this insane wildman so well.  Every match he’s been in since being back has been fun because of his persona. In saying that, Triple H’s offense was really boring and the match started to drag towards the end. What I don’t understand is if WWE spent all this money getting Brock Lesner and trying to make him in to this monster why is he continuing to lose matches like this. Like the Ryback match, I just don’t get what they’re trying to do.

Again, Paul Hayman was very fun.

WWE Title Match: John Cena vs. The Rock (C)
Winner and new champion: John Cena
These two have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever. Last years match wasn’t that great and a year didn’t help the matters. When Cena is working with Brock Lesner, CM Punk or Dolph, he has talent and puts on some great stuff but his stuff with The Rock doesn’t work. The last 10 minutes just devolved in to them kicking out of each others finisher. After the fifth kick out, I just wanted the match to end, I didn’t even care who won.


The overall problem with this show was lack of a Wrestlemania feeling. The crowed seemed bored through most of the night, there were massive pacing problems to the point that a match was cut from the show and nothing special happened overall. Besides Cena’s win, it didn’t seem like anything changed and Wrestlemania needed to do that.

Is it the worst Wrestlemania? No, but it felt like it should have been a different show.

Overall this sums it up

Further notes: Monday Night Raw happened the next night and Raw is what Wrestlemania should have been. It was one of the best episodes of Raw of the last decade. Now that was a show.