Dr. Love answers all
Dear Dr. Love,
I have been in a relationship for over 5 months and it developed very serious very quickly. This semester has been very busy and we had talked about our how hectic life would be and agreed one night a week we would have a date night. After not seeing each other all but one day early in the week, we had a date night and, after a short amount of time he left to go hang out with some buddies. The night for him ended early the next morning, and when we talked he said I was more emotionally invested than he was and I was being clingy. I’m not sure what to do.
Clinging to a shadow
Allow me to shed some light on the situation. Your boyfriend has made his priorities abundantly clear, and I am sorry to say it appears that you are low on them. The thing is, you can not and should not try to change him. He is who he is, and trying to change him will only lead to resentment and further grief. What you need to do, CTAS, is focus on yourself. As the adage goes, if you cannot make yourself happy, nobody else will be able to either. Strongly consider whether he is worth the angst and aggravation. I suspect that if you do, you will find he is not.
Dear Love Doctor,
I am recently single again, just in time for Valentine’s Day. I feel like I should be more emotional than I am. I broke down after we broke up, but since then I feel nothing at all. My SO and I have been together for a number of years, off and on. Shouldn’t I be sad? What is wrong with me that the only thing I feel right now is relief that it is finally over?
Cold As Ice
You’re not emotional now because you’ve been broken down so many times before. You’ve grieved. Your subconscious has grieved. Every fiber of your being is ready to move on, and in all probability, some part of you knew that this relationship would finally end and that is okay. Maybe you have more grief to go through, or maybe you’re finally done. Either way, you’re only as cold as you want to be. You’re on your own now, which means shake off the cold, step into sun and warm up. Spring is here and so is your brand new life.
So, I’m no stranger to boning, but I’m having a little problem. This chick and I have been dating for a couple of months now and we’ve totally gone heels to Jesus a few times, which is totally chill, bro. But, I think I have more needs then she does (if you know what I mean). I don’t want to guilt-trip her and I definitely don’t want to force anything on her, but I want to get laid more than once a month, dude! What should I do?
Horny and bronely
You have two hands, right? Not missing any fingers? I suggest that if you are grappling with the problem of not getting enough, you engage in some man-to-hand combat. Sex drives are a curious thing, and everybody develops theirs at a different pace. Like you said, you can’t control her drive. So take control of your own, if you’ll pardon the double entendre. Whatever you do, do not make her feel guilty for not “putting out.” She’s not a sex toy, she’s a person. If you just can’t get a grip on your sexual frustration, then you should strongly consider finding a girl whose needs more closely match your own.
Dear Doctor Love,
My partner and I have been together a long time. However, this time of year is always difficult for us. We would love to go out for a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner. However, it is often spoiled by the stares and mumbled comments of the hetero couples that surround us. I want to make this day special for my special someone, how can I do that without letting other people spoil it?
Sick Of Stares
The best way you can make this day special for your SO is by saying “Be damned” to all the gawkers. Don’t react to them, or play it up. Just enjoy your dinner and the company as if you two were the only ones in the room. People need to see your love is perfectly natural, no different than their own. And they’ll only see that if you show it to them. If you find your choice of date establishment to be too hostile, I recommend demonstrating your unhappiness by taking your dollars somewhere else.