From the archives: Oct. 4, 1967 Horoscope
Your Clouded Star: A mirthful guide to mystic mishaps by Harry V Plate
ARIES (March 21 – April 19): Planets which influence Aries are now in perfect position, assuring brilliant success in all areas, especially intellectual and social pursuits. Although this will cause bitter envy among close friends, take heart-for soon you will have none.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Taurus people are noted for intensely fervid temperament and stars indicate that present tensions are increasing rapidly. Good time to find a broad-minded Aquarius or Libra (but not both) and take off for the weekend.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 21): Mercury is ascending in your solar house of Saturn now, a sure sign that practical judgement will give way to a sudden outburst of romanticism. You may soon find yourself in unfamiliar surroundings with a familiar person, which could considerably enlighten practical judgement.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22): Certain cultural conflicts can be resolved now to your permanent advantage. Do not be misled by works of Shelley, Ibsen, Shakespeare or Wagner. Find your philosophy in Peanuts, Hefner and Schlitz.
LEO (July 23 – August 23): The stars indicate that you have a tendency to inspire respect, admiration, and a sense of moral responsibility among members of the opposite sex. Your open honesty and trust brings out courtesy and polite chivalry in others. However, with practice, this can be overcome.
VIRGO (August 24 – September 22): A head-on collision between Pluto and Mars suggests unexpected scholastic difficulties very soon. Someone is plotting a tricky move to test validity of your previous accomplishments. Carry crib note file with you at all times.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): If you have the feeling that someone in authority is “out to get you” you are quite right. Your superior wit, style, charm, intelligence and pleasantly patronizing manner indicate that you are clearly a cut above the crowd, and obviously marked for greater things. In fact, everyone is out to get you.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): The stars indicate that you are at once persuasive and understanding, uncompromising yet open-minded, dynamic although patient, clever while frank, independent yet obedient, practical and still imaginative. In fact, you appear to be a bit schizo.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21): Your school spirit will have a tendency to lag this week unless you make a headlong plunge into every available social, athletic and extracurricular activity with a buoyant, knock-down, take-charge exuberance. You will be considered insufferable.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 20): Someone nearby (an Aries, Gemini or Scorpio) is thinking of you in terms which could prove embarrassing if revealed in mixed company; however, this person is too timid to approach you. You might ask the birth dates of nearby people, just to see who it is.
AQUARIUS (January 21 – February 19): It is unlikely that you will marry the person you are presently dating and present studies will bear no relation to ultimate occupation. In fact, nothing you are doing now has any significance whatsoever. So be cheerful and relaxed … and try to develop a taste for inexpensive wine in small bottles.
PISCES (February 20 – March 20): The planets which guide your destiny indicate that you have a keen, calculating mind behind a seemingly placid facade. your ability with figures and winning way with new acquaintances point the way to a splendidly successful career in streetwalking or teaching.