Fun Star: Mythical ‘Permanent Chancellor’ sighted on campus
This article is a work of satire, and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental, and any quotes should not be regarded with any degree of seriousness.
Photos of an alleged mythological beast on campus have sparked lively debate in the scientific community. The creature is proposed to be a permanent UAF chancellor, photographed making his way through the forest paths near West Ridge.
The permanent chancellor who has been nicknamed ‘Chancy,’ supposedly ambled by students Kimberly Foot and Nessie Biggs as they were taking their afternoon jog around 2 p.m. Saturday.
“We were just walking along when we smelled something odd,” said Foot, when asked to describe the event. “It was sweet but musky. Nessie thought it smelled like fine cologne.”
“We heard twigs snapping off the path,” Biggs said. “I yelled for Kim to grab the camera. It moved so fast, we barely got the shot before he vanished.”
A search of the area later that evening revealed several footprints, a torn tie and some pieces of hair. The samples were turned over to the biology department for analysis.
The scientific community at large has responded with skepticism to the evidence.
“The existence of a permanent UAF chancellor is theoretical at best,” said large mammal expert James Ornery. “In spite of extensive searches and thousands of dollars poured into investigations of permanent chancellor sightings, no one has come close to finding one.”
Nevertheless, the cryptid community is very excited about the possibility that Chancy could be real.
“There’s no reason a permanent Chancellor couldn’t exist,” said Jim Johnsen, self-proclaimed permanent chancellor hunter. “Though we haven’t found one yet we’re certain that soon a live specimen will be captured.”
The photographic and physical evidence has reinvigorated the permanent chancellor hunting community, who are now hunting closer to home. Whether their search will yield any concrete evidence remains to be seen.