Fun Star: Nanooks win sports

This article is a work of satire, and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. Any resemblance to actual events or real people is purely coincidental, and should not be regarded with any degree of seriousness.

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Although the other team stayed ahead for a period of time, the Nanooks managed to stage a comeback at the final stretch of the game, in what turned into a very close match.

“I was shocked,” said Anny Nome, a spectator at the game. “I thought for sure they’d loose when the guy did the thing, but they sure came back!”

When the team took the field, Nome was skeptical about their defense’ chances of being able to stand up to the other team’s offense.

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“The other guys, have this one dude,” said Nome “He’s real tough. I thought for sure they’d have trouble with him. But they just boom and he just vomp. And right over.”

Erwin Trouble, a fellow student, disagreed with Nome.

“No but we have her, you know, her.” Trouble said to Nome “No one beats her.”

It looked as if the other team might steal a win at the last second when one player crossed a distance unexpectedly and approached another player. However that player managed to move away and finish their advance.

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Director of Athletics Gary Gray attributed the win to strategic planning combined with excellent sportsmanship.

“We came at this game with a new plan,” said Gray. “We told our players to try and win while simultaneously stopping the other team from winning. Our team did the rest.”

The coach is optimistic that this new strategy will carry UAF to victory in the finals.

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