Miss Euphoria: Monogamy (and other things I don’t approve of)

Miss Euphoria/ Sun Star Reporter

April 26, 2014

If my girlfriend would rather be fingered than penetrated by another one of my appendages, should I be concerned?

No, don’t be concerned. Use both!

Miss Euphoria, my boyfriend asked me to delete my Facebook account for one month because he thinks that it will force me to give more to the relationship and care more about our relationship. Is this an unreasonable request? It certainly feels daunting and a little bit prehistoric.

Well, you’re right, this is not 2012 anymore, and everyone is now on social sites. I think it’s an adorable request because it means that he wants you to invest in the relationship more. I also think it’s a bit creepy (without having all the details) for him to ask you to deactivate your Facebook for a relationship. This is the perfect time for change, if you’re not willing to deactivate from FB, then maybe you’ll be willing to drop him likes he’s hot. Good luck!

Euphoria, I was cheated on, but he says it will never happen again. Am I demeaning myself by staying with him? Should I stay with him? I feel like I love him still, but I also feel like maybe I’m not enough for him, and we were only dating for about four months. What should I do?

The idea of cheating is so antiquated and kind of totally over. Monogamy is great if you’re into that sort of thing but maybe he isn’t… wel,l clearly he isn’t. I think you should have a talk about your sex life and come to a clear understanding with him. Remember the definition of insanity and don’t put yourself in the same situation you were in before, shake up your old (and might I add…failed) routine.

I read your column and your advice is completely useless. Why do you write garbage and why do you perpetuate promiscuity and homosexuality? Haven’t you people learned your lesson with AIDS?

Well, wow, let me just adjust myself here because that turned pretty quick. I write this column as an outsiders view of sexuality within society. Almost all of the things I write are not meant to be taken completely seriously (I can’t believe I have to make that clear but I do). It’s a way of shaking up boring, old, tired ways of thinking and allowing them to settle in different ways. One week there will be cum facials and the next, there will be trans confessions but almost all of them are questions that people are too afraid to ask without anonymity. People have been taught to be terrified of sex. They are taught to be terrified of even talking about it, and I am just not. I am not going to dignify anything else you asked with a response but thank you for reading!

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