My Life in College: The perils of truth or dare
Moral Mildred/Sun Star Columnist
November 13, 2012
My friends and I are really into games–board games, video games, card games. Lately we have been playing a lot of Truth or Dare. Sometimes we play sober and sometimes we play not-so-sober.
I’ve noticed a thing or two about Truth or Dare. The “truth” option is never really that bad and every time someone ops for truth, everyone else who is playing simultaneously groans. No one really plays Truth or Dare because they want to talk about themselves. There are other games for that: Have I Ever, 20 Questions, making an account on Eharmony.. People play Truth or Dare because they want to make their friends do horrible, horrible things.
Also, I might be wrong in this, but people tend to think just a little bit less of people that always choose truth. No one ever says anything out loud, but I feel like everyone’s thinking it. “Ah, man Karen’s here. I hate thinking of truths.” “Crap, I forgot my phone. How am I supposed to google decent truth’s now?” I don’t think there is really anything wrong with always picking truths, but I have never turned down a dare in my life, and it has become a sort of trophy for me. Now, I feel like if I turn down a dare, I’d be a failure.
I need to stop telling people that I have never turned down a dare, though. I am proud of it–in some sick, twisted way, but telling people this fact is like a dare in itself. Every time I off-handily mention it, I can see the “Never turned down a dare, huh? Let’s see about that,” expression consume their very soul. It is a little bit terrifying, and a little bit “Come at me, bro.”
Because of my ridiculous pride concerning this game, I have forced myself to do some hugely embarrassing tasks. I shall now tell you about a few of the most embarrassing. Feel free to judge me, as I have already judged myself.
- I dare you to take my guitar, find some random person in the hallway, and sing them a love song. I did this dare sober, but I feel like the poor girl I accosted in the hallway needed a shot or something. I can neither sing nor play guitar, but I didn’t let that stop me. Of course my friends all followed me into the hallway and watched me publicly embarrass the first unsuspecting soul I came across. When I was done, I thanked her for being a good sport, and then ran away forever.
- Take a shot out of a condom. I’m not sure if any of you have done this (hopefully not), but something about alcohol and spermicide/lubricant does not mix well. It tasted like the worst parts of everything, even though it was vodka and I love vodka. Also, even though the dare stipulated it be a “shot” it was more like a double, and a lot of it ended up on my shirt.
- I dare you to skip topless down the hallway. I did this dare drunk, because normally I would do all that I can to not subject people to that. Thankfully, it was three in the morning and everyone was asleep because there are some things you can never unsee in life. I did it though, bared to the world, much to the horrified amusement of my friends.
- I dare you to flush your hand down the toilet. The stipulations of this dare were that I literally stuck my hand down into the toilet, down the hole waste disappears into. The toilet I had the misfortune of being near had probably never been cleaned the entirety of it’s toilet life, but I didn’t let that stop me. Some adjectives I would use to describe the experience include: slimy, sticky, and degrading.
- I dare you to kiss that guy. This ended a lot better than I thought it would, as the guy was really hot and actually into what was happening. Wandering up to him and asking him if it was okay if I laid one on him, though, was easily the most terrifying thing I have ever done. If he had said no, then I wouldn’t have lost the dare, but I would have had to walk back to my friends; friends that would probably have been crying with glee. Sometimes I wonder if I need new friends.
I assure you, the list goes on but I’m already pretty red writing this, and I don’t think my blood pressure can handle much more. So next time you play Truth or Dare, think to yourself, “Is this something Moral Mildred would do?” If the answer is yes, you probably shouldn’t do it.