My Life in College: A boy likes you if…

Moral Mildred/Sun Star Columnist 
December 4, 2012

This week’s article is a little bit of a request. I drove down to Wasilla over Thanksgiving break, and I took a friend down with me for two reasons: 1.) driving alone sucks and 2.) if there is someone else in the car with me I’ll drive more sanely because their life is in my hands. Anyway, as I was driving, I got to talking (read: ranting) and stumbled upon the topic of boys. My friend listened somberly, and then demanded that I make a MLIC article about it.

The topic specifically was the age-old debate on “How To Tell If A Boy Likes You.” I am absolutely useless when it comes to figuring anything about the opposite sex out. And I mean utterly and completely beyond help. I wish I was exaggerating.

Usually after one of my friends explains that I’ve been hit on, I have no idea what is going on. I honestly think this random guy just wanted me to know his name and phone number. Or, if he is super blunt about it so even one as dense as I pick up what he is putting down, I automatically assume someone has dared him to go hit on me, or think he has confused me with some hot girl standing in the near vicinity. You all may think this is a result of low self-esteem, but in reality, I’m just never prepared to be hit on therefore I’m continually caught off guard and surprised.

One of my guy friends, after watching how pathetic I am, decided to lend a helping hand. Guy code, straight from the horse’s mouth if you will. He gave me some solid ground rules to follow in the hopes that I would study and embrace them wholeheartedly. I have no idea if they are accurate, but I want to share them with you all.

Rule Number One: If a guy likes you, he will try and hang out with you a lot, usually with other friends as a buffer. I told my friend that I thought this is just sneaky, because having hang out sessions with friends is a normal, frequent event. If a guy wants to be more than friends, then shouldn’t he be more upfront about it? He told me to shut up and listen.

Rule Number Two: If a guy likes you, he will find excuses to touch you. Innocently at first, like a hand on the small of your back, or brushing arms. He does this to gauge your reaction. If he comes into contact with you and you freak out/look uncomfortable/burst into flames, then he knows you aren’t into him. I thought this sounded a little more legitimate, but a lot more creepy. My friend tried to tell me that this isn’t creepy it is sweet, but I remain unconvinced.

Rule Number Three: If the previously mentioned rules are going well, then the guy will try to hang out with you more alone, more one-on-one. This makes a lot of sense to me, as it is also something that I do. If I like a guy, then I want to hang out with him so I can get to know him better. Without distractions, like other humans.

Rule Number Four: If everything is going well, the guy will tell you he likes you. I feel like this rule is pretty self-explanatory. I asked my friend, “can’t the girl tell the guy he likes her?” My guy-friend told me that of course the girl can tell the guy that, but for the sake of keeping things simple, he was sticking to the guy-confessing-method.

Rule Number Five: If the girl likes the boy back, they start dating. Viola! Success.

Like I said, I’m not sure how accurate these rules are. Or if they are really even rules. I haven’t found them to be overly helpful, but that might just be because I’m slow.

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1 Response

  1. Harper says:

    Well, that was an exceptionally interesting 10 minutes I invested reading your material, thank you very much.

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