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On finding your soulmate

Emily Russell/ Sun Star Contributor

Feb. 11, 2014

I’ve had six soulmates in my lifetime. I’m 24 years old. Before you dismiss my seemingly outlandish claim for sheer romantic gullibility, let me explain. Of the six soulmates I’ve had, all six have been female and one has been my own sister.

The type of soulmate I’m talking about is that person you meet and instantly know you could spend hours, days, even an entire lifetime by his or her side. That person that will make you laugh until your body aches. That person that you would do anything for without hesitation.

I consider my sister my first soulmate. Finding someone outside the family circle may be harder, but I was fortunate to find my second soulmate before grade school. We walked to school together every day for a decade, shared matching lunchboxes and wore identical outfits to class. The day I moved away for high school, I was lucky enough to meet my third soulmate and two years later I found my fourth, a girl I was so close to that we considered each other sisters.

I started college in a long-distance relationship. He was not my soulmate, but I spent all my time working on my relationship instead of investing in real friendships. It wasn’t until the spring that I realized my relationship was hindering my ability to make friends with those around me. I had already met my fifth soulmate during the first few days in college, but it took me an entire year and a failed relationship to realize the potential friendships in front of me. Though it’s been three years since I’ve seen her and seven since we met, we still exchange emails every few months. In her latest email she wrote, “You’re like this soulmate friend I have no matter time or place.” I never thought of my friendships in that way, but it made perfect sense.

My seventh soulmate began just as the previous ones had, with a friendship that found me during my first week in Alaska. Yet this one was different. My seventh was my first male soulmate. As most assume, men and women cannot be just friends, at least, not without their friends and family expecting and even urging more from the relationship. Luckily, we gave in to our friends and family and have built the most marvelous and rewarding relationship.

But I didn’t write this article to gush about my boyfriend, I wrote it to gush about my first six soulmates and ponder others yet to come. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to have met my seventh here in Alaska, but unfortunately, all seven of my soulmates are currently scattered across the world, each pursuing their own careers, and I find myself longing for the companionship I took for granted earlier in life.

People our age often get consumed with work or school, not to mention their own romantic relationships, making true friendships become harder to come by. Soulmates, whether from youth or adulthoo0d, become even more meaningful as we realize how the progression of our lives inevitably makes it more difficult to find new ones.

So when Valentine’s Day comes around, I would encourage you to remember the soulmates in your life- not just your romantic partner, but the true friends in your life- and to remind yourself how lucky you are.

For those of you who haven’t found a soulmate yet, I would encourage you to keep looking, since I know from experience that friendships arise as unexpectedly as a winter heat wave in Fairbanks does, and if you’re lucky like me, some will last a lifetime.

I know that I, for one, will be looking for a soulmate this Valentine’s Day.

2 Responses to On finding your soulmate

  1. Mariana

    February 11, 2014 at 4:57 PM

    I love you Em, thanks for writing this and sharing it with me. -mary :)

  2. Janice Deacon

    February 14, 2014 at 11:13 AM

    I loved your article, Emily. Great reminder of the importance of friendship. I have some amazing soulmates, most of them female. I met my first soulmate in grade one and we talked on the phone this morning for an hour. Janice

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