Overworked Professor Hogging Five Classes This Semester

This piece is from the April 1 issue, our April Fool’s Day edition of the newspaper: The Fun Star.  It is intended as satire and not meant to be taken seriously.  All information and quotes were made up.

 

Lakeidra Chavis/ Fun Star Reporter

April 1, 2014

Photo/ meme created by Lakeidra Chavis

Photo/ meme created by Lakeidra Chavis

Between leading an after school program at a local high school and conducting career-long research, Assistant Professor of Physics Alex McConoham, is hogging 5 classes this spring semester all to himself, according to complaints filed last Wednesday. The teacher’s selfishness caused a firestorm causing the Chancellor’s office to be flooded with angry emails and phone calls.

“Some people even walked up to our office to complain to our face,” Chancellor’s Office assistant Marie George-Willis said. The complaints come just weeks after the University of Alaska administration released a memo saying that professors would have to take on an extra class beginning next school year with no extra pay.

“Can you believe his nerve? Getting up at 7 a.m. to teach a class and then staying after 9 p.m. to get all of his work done? Who the hell does that? Selfish cold-hearted people, that’s who,” Assistant Term Professor Bettie Newman said of McConoham.

George-Willis says most of the complaints centered on McConoham’s reported careless disregard and demeaning dedication to education.

“It raises an alarm when a professor, who doesn’t even have tenure, cares so much about teaching,” she said. George-Willis added that some complaints filed said that McConoham’s selfishness was causing other professors to feel pressure to work hard and have just as much dedication, despite no pay increases.

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