College Survival Guide: Spring Fever

Jason Hersey/Sun Star Columnist

Nowhere in this country do the profound seasonal mood swings, from summer, fall, winter and spring, manifest themselves so flamboyantly as they do in Alaska—and, especially so, the farther north you get. In Fairbanks, everyone is already talking about it, and if you are not, beware.

Most of us have seen Bambi as a small kid, and while we may not have been aware at the time, being “twitterpated” carries much more connotation than falling in love with a skunk. Just as Bambi, Thumper and Flower emerge from their dens after a long winter, so does the entirety of Fairbanks pour out of their holes wanting to talk with everybody. They want to bike, to bar, to ski, to see their friends, to soak up sun, to walk their babies, to be outside with no hat and mittens… oh! and to have sex.

Maybe it’s more biological than anything, like our Disney friends ditching their bros and sneaking off into the clover thicket. But it is no secret that Fairbanksans get a taste of spring sunshine and roam around town like wild beasts.

It’s not just the sex that puts us into a frenzy of animal instinct, though. Everything is affected. Homework is simply no longer feasible. We go out almost every night of the week. We have more energy for exercise (which makes us even more appealing to the roving beasts). We make friends. We remember hobbies we love to do. We forget that we need to take Vitamin D supplements. It is a time full of extra energy all around, and collaboration with others is like the combining of superpowers.

I’m not saying it is, exactly, a happy time, but that it is simply intense. How many people do you know have broken up with a serious partner recently? Or that have planned or are undergoing a major life altering event, like a move? The heavy air of winter burns away with the sunshine, and all the pent up antziness moves unchecked in one fixed direction—out.

I’m sure I don’t have to remind you of the precautions, but some of you will pretend that there are none, so I will remind you anyway.

  1. Beware of rebounding, roving beasts with much sexual prowess at their disposal. Doesn’t necessarily mean avoid them, just make them slow down and prove to you that they realize you are, in fact, human.

  2. Be aware of your own sexual powers. Stop and communicate your intentions honestly. You may be surprised how similar they are to the other, which will make things much easier of it doesn’t work out.

  3. We still have a month left of school! Enough said.

  4. If you are not sure how to go about riding this wave of energy, just pull out the things you love to do. Do them, and the rest will fall into place.

  5. All the usual..birth control, STD protection, etc…Spring doesn’t have to tolerate stupidity.

  6. Finally, if you are lucky enough to meet someone you would want to spend more than a night in the clover thicket with, don’t treat them like the beast. (See #1 and #2)

Spring fever is upon us. It is relentless. It can be harsh, but also loving. Those of you that are still with your mate and keeping your head about you: good for you! But you are still welcome to come join the rest of us on the wave of craziness. Have you ever been on an old-school merry-go-round that is just plain overflowing with people? The more the merrier, right? Really, that is what it is all about.

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