Student extravagence worse than previously thought

Lakeidra Chavis/ Fun Star Reporter
April 2, 2013

College students live a very privileged lifestyle. This was exemplified in a UA Board of Regents meeting last October when UA President Pat Gamble said that, “a lot of student debt is choice.”

A recent survey conducted by the UAF Admissions to track student lifestyles found that student spending was out of control. The survey focused on 100 UAF students perusing a four-year degree and living on-campus. The study concluded that student extravagant spending has worsened. The study found that UAF students are spending close to $5 for ramen noodles at Fred Meyer, where the stale delicacy is an astonishing 25 cents a pack. Students were spending over $500 on textbooks and purchasing $150 student parking decals. After purchasing decals, the students used the campus shuttle, a luxury transportation service that cost $13 a semester, to get to class.

“I’m not surprised at this type of spending,” Gamble said on the study findings, “Everyone was mad at me, but now they can see that I was telling the truth.”

“I don’t think my spending is that extravagant but I could be wrong,” said senior Physics students Kailey Stewart. Stewart said that during the beginning of the semester she spent an extra $100 on a late fee because her financial aid hadn’t come in. “I don’t have money in the bank, but when I do, I feel like spending it on late fees.”

Some student disagreed with the survey, preferring it gave a voice to off-campus students. “I live in a dry cabin and I think it’s pretty extravagant,” said sophomore Psychology student Megan Hittleton. Hittleton said that as a liberal arts major she knew she would make a lot of money in the future so she chose to live in a dry cabin. “I spent a lot on blue foam insulation for my outhouse to keep me warm during the winter, like, not a lot of people can afford my lifestyle. I wish the survey included that,” Hittleton said.

Although not concluded in the experiment, the study found that students who choose to live on campus will have a higher amount of debt than their off-campus counterparts. “Students are spending more than $3,000 to live our state-of-the-art dormitories and to eat fine cuisine at the Lola Tilly, but wonder why they get in so much debt?” said Residence Life Director Kathy Bruno.

“I see students come in here a lot and get coffee because they’re tired,” said ASUAF Office Manager Anne Williamson. “It’s extravagant. If they have so much money, why do they come in here to get free coffee. It’s weird,” Williamson said. Students willingly pay $42 for the student government fee for radio shows, concerts and a student newspaper, so they can be entertained while sitting in the back of class and not listening to the professor.

For the next academic year, students will face a 2 percent tuition increase. “I honestly don’t know how they can expect us to be financially responsible when we just have so much temptation with our low fees and tuition,” freshman Biology student Micheal Eddington said.

“With a lot of things changing for our university, I hope that student extravagance will change also,” said UAF Chancellor Brian Rogers.

This article is satire. It is not intended to be taken seriously.

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