Top 10 Student Excuses

Sun Star Staff Report
September 27, 2011

Most every college student has a day (or six) when he or she doesn’t feel like going to class or doing homework. Yet the reasons professors get for these lapses could really use an overhaul. Please, get creative, or better yet  — be honest. Most professors would rather hear the truth.  All of the excuses below are real, received in most cases via email, by a professor and her colleagues at UAF.  Employ any of the following at your own risk.

Slow System

“I regret to inform you that I will not be attending class today. I have food poisoning and have been sick for the past few days.”

Forgot to Pay the Technology Fee

“I couldn’t do the assignment because my computer crashed.”

It Hurts Me to Watch You Lecture

“I won’t be in class today because I have a sore throat.”

Violent Ungulates

“There was a moose in my driveway and I was afraid to walk to my car.”

Alfred Hitchcock Redux

“I’m sorry but a bird pooped on me on the way to class and I had to go home and change my shirt and wash my hair again.”

Time Off for No Behavior

“I’m going to miss the first week of class because I’m going to be in Hawaii. Can you send me the assignments and lecture notes via FedEx and I’ll turn them in when I get back? “

Gender Identity

“I’m going to miss class on Thursday because my mother is having a vasectomy.”

Up All Night

“I am not finished with my presentation for tomorrow. I am hoping that you will let me go on Tuesday instead. I just need to sleep.”

 

Espionage?

“I will likely miss class Monday. It will be for a very legitimate reason.”

 

Time Travel

“Hey, sorry I wasn’t in class on Wednesday. I thought it was Thursday alllll day.”

 

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