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This piece is from the March 26 issue, our April Fool’s Day edition of the newspaper: The Fun Star. It is intended as satire and not meant to be taken seriously. All information and quotes were made up.
Lakeidra Chavis/Fun Star Reporter
March 26, 2013
It seems that abortion, sexuality and the war on women have painted a grim picture of the rights of women in America lately. However, UAF is shining light on the minority group by building a new building in the shape of a vagina that will be ready for classes this fall.
UAF’s 59 percent female demographic, the “Kameel Toi Henderson Building,” is named after a former university professor.
Groundbreaking for the the new building will begin in late April and construction is expected to finish by the end of the summer.
Although both liberal arts and science classes will be taught in the new building, faculty have created new classes in the building’s honor. The 10 member panel of administrators and faculty only includes three females.
Faculty and students have criticized the panel for being sexist and discriminatory against women despite the building celebrating them.
Courses such as Home Economics, House Cleaning 101 and the Perils of Feminism will be offered each semester. The faculty chose of a list of recommended courses that faculty, staff and students comprised. Courses such as Women in Politics, Rights of Women in Alaska and the Construction of Female Beauty were denied. Two three-week seminars titled Economic Benefits of Ending the Gender Wage Gap and Rape Culture in America, are still in consideration. The panel will finalize the course list before April 20.
“I really like cooking, so I’m excited,” said sophomore Foreign Languages student Annie Brook.
In a meeting earlier this month to discuss the building, faculty, students and members of the public voiced their concerns. “I’m just going to play devil’s advocate here but I feel like if women get to have a giant vagina building, than men should be able to have a giant penis building too,” said junior engineering student Samantha Morgano. The comment drew a lot of gasps from the crowed room.
“This building has garnered a lot of stupid comments but that is by far the dumbest argument you can make. You’re a woman, and you still haven’t realized it? The world is a giant penis building,” said Women’s Center Director Kayt Sunwood.
The Kameel Toi Henderson Building will be located across the street from Reichardt Building, on the hill behind the current UAF shuttle bus stop.
“I’m excited about the many layers of the building that will unfold upon its release,” said psychology student James Smith.
This article is satire. It is not intended to be taken seriously.