Underground fun coming for students this summer

Fernanda Chamorro/Fun Star Reporter
April 2, 2013

After various complaints from students under the age of 21 that there are not enough activities for them on campus, UAF’s administration made a big decision. They will open the steam tunnel utilidor network to students for parties. Beginning this summer on May 15, the tunnels will be available for rent.

Alcohol is not allowed due to the safety risks associated with the tight spaces in the tunnels. “Student safety is first of course,” said Gary Beaudette, a Risk and Safety Management safety officer.

There have been rumors about the tunnels for years. Students have not been permitted to go into the steam tunnels, though this has not stopped daring students from exploring them.

“Students sneak in down there all the time,” said Julie Larweth, director of the UAF Office of Management and Budget. “So we figured we might as well make some money off of it.”

The tunnels are pretty cramped in some areas, but students are still excited. “This is crazy. I want to throw a party in the bunkers,” said Joshua Moss, a UAF Biology student who enjoys rock climbing.

The administration has already started a wait list for the party animals who will be renting out the tunnels. So far, at least 200 students have come forward and expressed an interest in renting out the steam tunnels for parties.

Students can rent out the tunnels by building, which ranges from $50 to $250 for three hours, or the entire tunnel system, which can be rented out up to 8 hours for $1,000.

“We are experimenting right now,” Larweth said. “If students really seem interested, the administration may consider holding school dances below. Finally, we’ll give underage students something to do with their summer.”

This article is satire. It is not intended to be taken seriously.

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1 Response

  1. Bob says:

    I got to hear this one, they actually let people rent out the steam tunnels like students? Can anyone rent the steam tunnels out? cause I’m an expert!

    If I can ever get reasonable travel arrangements to come to Fairbanks then they even come close to now
    I might be interested in renting some of those tunnels myself.

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